Index:

• Introduction
• My Philosophy For Fat Loss
• My Active Lifestyle Since I Started This Journey
• Philosophy Of How The Body Responds To Fat Loss
  • Contextual Understanding
  • The Content Part Of Fat Loss
• “Normal” and the “New Normal”
• Addictions
• Foods I Eat
• My Exercise Schedules
• Pitfalls And How To Handle Them
• The Most Important Things I Still Do
• Reminders For Managing Weight/Fat
• Link To Power Point Presentation
• Video presentation on YouTube

Introduction:

I realized that our bodies manage fat in our body like a thermostat – i.e. we keep bouncing between the upper and lower boundaries of fat gain/loss and then we stabilize back to our “normal” for some time…till we reset to the normal again. This is an on-going process between our mind and body. Our mind can conceive a perfect weight that we want to attain but unless our body accepts that weight and moves incrementally, internalizing it at every step we never get to that weight and keep it there.

I have been struggling with body weight the later part of my adult life i.e. from around 25 to 30 onwards till age 40. I still struggle with keep fat at bay in my own way. This process never ends for me. Everyone has their own version and my version keeps changing so I keep improvising my goals and keep at it. It is a constant game till the grave, I guess.

Around the age of 40 I reached my peak weight of 200 pounds. I am going to refer to body weight in general for now till I get more specific about body fat. When I went for a blood test I was on the borderline of cholesterol and blood pressure. A few of the other levels were on the borderline and I was only 40. This was ridiculous for me as I do not like being on medicine. My waist size was at 38 inches and I was wearing xl size shirts. This was it for me. I just had to snap out of it, and I started to action.

Initially, I did not know what to do as I was always working out in the gym and was still fat. I loved eating and nothing was going to stop me from eating what I wanted at that time. I was addicted to the gym and eating. It was like hitting the gas and the brake at the same time in the car.  A lot of noise but not going anywhere.  The body was stressed out by all the exercise and all the eating. Absolutely no results at all and I was exhausted with this process with no gain at all in the right direction, which was weight loss.

I read an article on hidden sugars or someone gave me a video of the same. This made me start to think of the indirect sugars I was consuming. So, all I did was google a list of all foods with hidden sugars and pasted that paper on my refrigerator and just got to stop or reduce eating the foods with hidden sugars. That is all I did to start with. I slowly started to lose one pound at a time. This was very thrilling because all I did was cut off hidden sugars from my foods.

I kept losing weight slowly and then hit a wall i.e. the weight stopped to go down. The next thing I did was cut off the fried foods from my meals. This started the weight loss again and then I hit a wall again.

So, every time I hit a wall, I started on the next foods to control…the whole list of foods that I gave up incrementally when I hit a wall were as follows:

1. Hidden Sugars (Juices / Soda’s / Margarita’s)
2. Direct Sugars – Sweets And Candy – Reduced Intake
3. Carbohydrates – Reduced/Replaced Bad Carbs To Good Carbs
   1. White Rice To Brown Rice
   2. Potatoes To Sweet Potatoes
4. Butter To Olive Oil’s
5. White Bread To Wheat Bread
6. Coffee To Black Coffee With No Sugar
7. Margarita’s To Sipping Tequila Or Scotch

I started to understand more and more foods and the effect it had on the body. I was still exercising 3 to 4 times a week during this time and adding more activities during this time. I started to do endurance training like long bike rides and run half marathons. I also started to hike more and do some mountain climbing. I started to enjoy more activities as the weight started to fall off and I got lighter.

A more detailed version of what I faced at every step is listed in the rest of the blog and the philosophy I have made up for the same that I still follow today. Now I only measure fat loss and my goals have changed a lot. Read on for the whole story of how to lose the fat and keep it off. If you do not keep it off – it will come right back.

Chapters:

• Philosophy Of Fat Loss In The Human Body
  • Context
  • Content
  • Normal and New Normal
• Addiction
• Foods I Eat And My Exercise Plan
• Advantages Of Fat Loss

My Philosophy For Fat Loss:

                I realized when I hit 200 pounds that I would rather be proactive about weight loss and control the same than end up with an incident in life and then decide to change. Sometimes that can be too late for some. I have a few friends that are in this situation, i.e. who had a life altering incident happen and then they reacted to it and got fit and now stay proactive about it.

I also have a few friends who had a medical incident happen in their life but still gain weight and depend on the medical system to give them a lease in life. Either way it is ok. I just decided to be proactive and take charge of my life and health.

Now that I have a some understanding of the same, I decided to share my knowledge with everyone so that people can benefit from the same. It was and is a constant battle and I will share what I know today and more as I learn more.

I do not claim to be a guru in this subject. I am just sharing my story. If it inspires you to lose some fat so be it. Otherwise forward this to someone who you think might need this and they might just forward it back to you as they think that you need it more than them.

My Active Lifestyle Since I Started This Journey:

• Run
• Gym
• Ski
• Climb Mountains
  • Himalaya’s
  • Kilimanjaro
  • Denali – next in 2020
• Scuba Dive
• Bike
• Motorcycle

Philosophy Of How The Body Responds To Fat Loss:

As I explained earlier our body functions like a thermostat – it sets its own setting subconsciously and then if you put on more fat or loose the fat it stabilizes our body back to its “normal”. It keeps resetting its normal all the time. We can either let the body reset the normal or we can consciously work with it to reset the normal and internalize it. I call this process of syncing our mind and out body to that weight. We have to hold the weight at the new number till the body internalized it. Once this is done the body then accepts this weight as the “new normal”. Once this is done then we can move to the next reset of this normal.

We must arrive at fat loss contextually and not purely from the perspective of content.

Context:
Understanding our upper and lower limits of fat fluctuations and our current normal and moving it one step up or down, then stabilizing to internalize the same. This moves the new normal and then we start the process again. We usually know our “normal” weight and can revert back to that easily with a little effort.

Content:
The content part of weight loss is focusing on exercise, foods, activities i.e. all the physical things that need to be done on a daily basis to keep activities up and reduce the weight/fat. 99% of weight loss articles are in this area. But focusing on this without understanding this contextually will not lead to permanent weight loss.

Contextual Understanding:

The Content Part Of Fat Loss:

In the above graphic I have shown a representation of my initial body weight and how I notched it down one step at a time. My initial weight was 200 pounds and all I wanted to do was to lose 2.5 pounds and hold it there without gaining back anything. Even if I gained back any weight due to life’s challenges, I immediately worked towards coming back to the “new normal” as I called it. The whole goal was to lose the 2.5 pounds and keep it off. That was it. to achieve this

• I gave up/reduced hidden sugars and fried foods
• If I went to restaurants, I did not order starters and dessert
• I worked out 5 times a week

This is all I did to start with. Once I lost the 2.5 pounds the goal was not to lose any more but to hold it there for at least two to three weeks or a month. Once I realized that I was at that weight by default I then started my next step of fat loss i.e. another 2.5 pounds. This took more effort as whatever I was doing was good enough to hold me at 197.5 and not lose any more.

• I reduced/gave up direct sugars (this was the most difficult for me)
• I hired a trainer to work with once a week
• I started biking with a group every Sunday

This increased workout schedule and stable eating habits dropped me another 2.5 pounds. Wow I was at 195. This was working well. I was the guru of weight loss. I then started to celebrate and eat out more and eat sweets more often. The 2.5 pounds came back within the month. I did the eating plan again and then worked out more. I lost the 2.5 pounds this time and kept it off for a long time. My challenge at this step was that I could not drop below 195 as I hit a wall. A wall is when you try everything and still the weight does not go down below a certain number. So, I took a harder look at my eating habits and the next step in the process was to understand good carbs, bad carbs, and get control of my passion for margarita’s. so, the next set of foods I gave up and workouts were as follows:

• I gave up processed/canned foods – no more cold cut meats
• I gave up/reduced white rice – switched to chapati’s
• I gave up/reduced egg yolks – went to 3 egg whites and one yolk
• I gave up/reduced intake of margarita’s – switched to drinking scotch or tequila shots
• I also started biking long distances of 20 miles plus on weekends

This process helped me break the 195 pounds barrier and then I dropped 5 pounds pretty fast and I could hold it there for some time without any effort. I realized that the increased activity and understanding of foods gave me the edge to lose 10 pounds and keep it off. I was on a high. I would put on 2 to 3 pounds due to travel of partying and then drop it off fast. So, my new normal moved from 200 pounds to about 190 pounds and stayed there. Currently maintaining 190 pounds was a piece of cake.

“Normal” And The “New Normal”

This is when I understood that once the body gets it, it keeps it there. So, it took a lot of brain power to convince myself to lose weight and then I had to put the body through all the changes and hold it there for some time. Only when the weight held at the new weight for more than 5 to 6 months, I realized that the body moved the new normal to that weight.

This understanding changed my weight loss philosophy and I was armed with all this knowledge, so I set a new goal of losing another 10 pounds over the next year, i.e. about 1 pound a month and hold it there without putting it back on. I would yo-yo a bit, but I broke 190 pounds and help strong close to 180 pounds within a year.

The interesting thing was that I was ok with losing it gradually. This way the body and mind were synchronized, and the foods and exercise changes were very gradual. So, I was not stressed about all these changes. The family also adjusted to my eating habits and exercise schedule gradually without any upsets. The fitter I felt the more activities I would want to do as I was in less instances of food coma and lethargy.

As my knowledge of foods grew and my activities grew, I wanted to break 180 pounds and drop below that number. This time it took a lot more effort as my family would cook up all these amazing foods and parties were never short in The Woodlands. So, I decided to start the next step with the following changes.

• Started portion control on all foods. i.e. I would eat only in quarter plates and one serving
• I stopped milk and sugar in coffee and tea
• I started eating more steamed and baked foods and dropped the oils
• I started running half marathon’s and biking alternate weekends

All this worked and I dropped down to about 178 pounds. I had broken the 190, and 180-pound barrier and I was thrilled. I stayed with these foods and started hiking and trekking up mountains. I was in the Himalaya’s at about 18,500 feet and then my son, two cousins and I with a group of friends climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro. By the end of all these activities and my food habits I was down to 174 pounds. I stayed here for about 2 to 3 years as I was comfortable at this weight.

• During all this time all these changes happened in my life:
• I went from a 38-pant size to a 34 or a 33 in some cases
• I went from a shirt size of xl to medium
• In the shirt and pant sizes I went from regular to slim fit
• I changed my clothes every 6 months as my old clothes were too loose all the time
• I changed belt sizes a few times.
• It was getting to be more of an economic problem

The side effect of my food habits started showing on my wife and kids also. They also started losing weight and I learned that weight loss is a family effort. If more people eat healthy in a household the eating habits of the entire household changes and everyone becomes conscious about their eating. All these changes happened over a period, but they did happen.

I then wanted to break 170 pounds as I was there for too long and it did not happen for a few years even though I tried different approaches and food plans. Then my cousin’s sister did a body building competition and was on stage in a competition with a body fat percentage of less than 5 % (guessing). This got me thinking and I took her advice and started working with her trainer and his eating plan. Within 6 weeks I broke 170 pounds and I got to about 169 pounds and lower than that sometimes. During this time, I understood that I had to put on muscle mass and loose body fat. So, my weight was going up but was fat was dropping at this time. All my measurements were being calculated on fat loss, that is why I call it fat loss and not weight loss anymore because we need to lose fat and not muscle mass.

This whole process that I was following has been from early 2019 till now and I finally stabilized at about 168 pounds, and about 12.9% body fat. I feel amazing but I am not there yet. I will discuss more about that later but more for all the other changes that happened in my fat loss journey first.

Addictions:

We all have them!

Coming off the subject of substance abuse in my previous blog on Compassion I wanted to expand a little more into this topic.

What is an addiction: The following is the definition of addiction as per the dictionary.

Definition of ADDICTION

1: the quality or state of being addicted ex: addiction to reading

2: compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance (such as heroin, nicotine, or alcohol) characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal; broadly : persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful

We are aware of the forms of addiction to substance abuse in our surroundings. Mostly we term an addiction only to substance abuse but as you see above in the definition it clearly states that “broadly: persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful” i.e. this can be anything that can be harmful to the human body. Mostly we see or deem addiction only to things that are harmful soon like drugs or alcohol, which have immediate side effects for the user. What about food habits, excessive sugars, fats that we consume in every meal every day? Aren’t these harmful to the user. It fits the definition of addiction, just that the side effects can be seen over a period, so we justify it as harmless as the effects are seen over a period of time. 

Our bad eating habits are as bad an addiction as substance abuse addictions just that the side effects are not seen immediately and hence 99.9% of the people justify them or they do not classify them as bad addictions. They just call them bad eating habits. If it is a habit and a persistent one, then it fits the definition as “broadly: persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful”.

Every time we visit the clinic to visit a doctor, they do a weight check and record the same, why is that? Maybe because it is a very important aspect of your health. But most people treat weight, as something that needs to be controlled, but later, when? Later, someday. Isn’t the doctor blatantly telling you every time they weigh you that this is an important factor for your health. They are but people do not seem to get it.

I know and have advised my kids and all young people to stay away from addictions and substance abuse. At the same time, I was overweight, had a lot of bad eating habits and had no control of my sugar consumption. So, I was an addict as per the definition of addiction in the dictionary, so what right did I have to be advising anybody at all. I was advising them about substance abuse addictions that had immediate effects on the human body and the surrounding people – but I was addict to bad eating habits that had no immediate effect on my surrounding or my body. It was still harmful to my system, but the effects were not showing right away – so it was ok, right? That was my internal justification.

So, coming off this I defined that my bad eating habits were in fact an addiction, i.e. persistent compulsive use of a substance (food in this case) known by the user to be harmful.

The Action:

Now that I defined this as an addiction, 90% of the work was done just realizing that this was an addictive behavior that was harmful over the long run. All I had to do was to take action by putting a structure for good eating habits and sticking to the plan. It was going to be hard as my life was always ruled by the concept of “I live to eat” or “we only live once” so I can eat anything, without regard to the quality of life and graceful ageing.

Based on the above I realized that I was addicted to various foods or food habits and if I was willing to break even one habit or pattern at any time to make it work for me, I was willing to try it.

I categorized the foods as addictions if I tried to do away with it but still went and ate it anyway. Some of this process is extreme but it was my proactive approach to weight loss. I know addiction is a strong word. But, if we cannot stop eating certain foods even though we know it is bad for us – what else can you categorize it as? I was not going to fool myself – I just wanted to be straight about it and I categorized a lot of my foods and habits as addictions and got to them one at a time.

These were the following addictions I had and some of them I still have but only indulge in it occasionally.

1. Morning Tea/Coffee With Milk And Sugar
   1. Gave up milk first in them and stabilized over time and then gave up the sugar too.
   2. Today I can drink my tea or coffee black
2. High Carb, Starchy Foods
   1. Gave up or reduced white rice intake – switched to Wheat based Indian bread
   2. Gave up or reduced white flour intake
   3. Gave up or reduced potatoes – switched to sweet potatoes
3. High Fatty Foods
   1. Gave up fried foods completely – I do just taste it one a year or so
   2. Gave up or reduced pizza’s drastically
   3. Gave up or reduced any kind of buttery sauces on foods at restaurants and at home
4. Sugar Loaded Drinks
   1. Stopped all soda’s
   2. Stopped all sugar laced drinks like margaritas and switched to scotch or direct tequila.
5. High Calorie Density Foods
   1. Reduced or gave up certain kinds of sweets
   2. Still do eat sweets but in reduced quantities just for the taste
   3. I do go berserk sometimes and eat about 8 to 10 Gulab jamuns or a couple of sugar or chocolate filled doughnuts just as a fix once in a while and work it off the rest of the week – till all levels stabilize

This process is not going to end at all as I keep getting used to foods or routines and making them a habit and when I realize that it has become an addiction, I categorize it as an addiction and then start working all over from the start to change it or give it up.

I can say that this process of categorizing them as addictions has helped and made me lose a lot of my food addictions.

I would categorize an addiction as something that you would eat or do that you know is not good for your health but still do it anyway. List them all and get to work on breaking them one at a time. That is the only sure way of getting control of your foods.

The dictionary definition of addiction:

The state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.

Foods I Eat:

Breakfast:

1. Plant based protein shake with a banana and unsweetened almond milk Or
2. 1 cup of cooked oats with almonds, walnuts, chia seed And
3. Bowl of fruit

Lunch:

1. 2 roti’s (Indian bread)
2. Spinach dal or yellow dal
3. Meal maker or some vegetable
4. I piece Dove dark chocolate

Mid Afternoon Snack:

1. ½ cup nuts
2. About 6 Tortilla chips with hummus

Dinner:

1. 2 slices whole wheat bread
2. Beyond meat burger patties (trying to learn how to make my own) – 20 grams of protein
3. Avocado, onions spread that my wife makes
4. 1 piece Dove dark chocolate
5. 6 to 8 maple glazed pecans

How I Eat At Parties:

1. Try to avoid starters or eat about one quarter plate of starters – one each
2. One plate of dinner – no refills
3. Small portion of dessert or try to avoid it

How I Eat At Restaurants:

1. No starters
2. Only baked foods
3. No dessert
4. No drinks – not even alcohol

How I Eat When I Go To India:

1.  I pig out some days but eat 2 meals a day of all foods
2. Come back and it takes me 3 weeks to get back into shape
3. So, I do not complain in India even then they think that I have gone crazy

My Exercise Schedule:

In Houston:

1. 6 days a week of workout
2. 15 minutes of High Interval Training
   1. 5 minutes of stair mill – 30 secs slow, 30 secs fast (number 3 and 12)
   2. 5 minutes of stationary biking – 30 secs slow, 30 secs fast
   3. 5 minutes of treadmill running – 30 secs slow, 30 secs fast (4.7 miles and 9 miles)
3. Substitute the aerobics for one long run i.e. about 4 to 5 miles
4. Substitute the aerobics for one long bike ride i.e. about 15 miles
5. 40 to 45 minutes weight training all these 6 days

When I Am Travelling:

1. My travel is a max of two to three weeks at a time
2. I just rest my body during travel
3. It takes me three weeks to get back to where I was after I come back
4. This way it does not get boring and I do not have to carry all my gym gear when travelling

Pitfalls And How To Handle Them:

1. Get over it and get back to your schedule and the fat will start dropping again
2. Life does get in the way – but you just got to keep at it irrespective of how many times you fall off the band wagon

My Future Goals:

I have hit a wall at 168 pounds and 12.9 % fat loss. I am trying to break 7 % body fat with increased muscle and a perfect definition. I will share my story with you all when I get there.

The Most Important Things I Still Do:

1. Check my weight every day
2. I get body measurements every two weeks or at least once a month
3. I get a training session at least once a month
4. I keep changing my schedule every so often so that the same does not become boring
5. I read about people successes in body transformation
6. I stay away from company that only eats and drinks all the time – I try to hang out with a group that talks and lives actively
   
   

Future:

Reminders For Managing Weight/Fat:

J. Krishnamurthi an Indian philosopher stated in one of this books that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. That statement did not mean much to me when I read it 20 years ago. All it meant to me was that we were here on this earth because we chose to be so, and to experience whatever we came here for.

So for the past 20 years I have been living a life grounded in that belief that since we are spiritual beings all is going to be ok and well as we return to being spiritual again when we pass on. So how can anything really go wrong in the big picture of life unless we chose to make it wrong or miserable. We had the power to do it as we chose our experiences.

My internal conversation on this is being shared here and now under the subject of “compassion” because I realized the deeper meaning of this word and the higher meaning of life when my brother passed away a year and three months ago.

My brother Sunil was always trouble some all his life. He started smoking when he was in the 10^th grade and drinking alcohol sometime soon after that. His substance abuse habits were always troublesome to us as a family and all the people around us. We tried to make him wrong all the time and he rebelled more. There was no end to this drama till his passing in May of 2017. He was in alcohol rehabs most of his adult life, in jail once. His wife and daughter left him as they could not take his habits anymore and moved on.

In all this drama we always made him wrong because of what he did, and this cycle just continued. What was he rebelling about all his life, maybe it was just to be heard, maybe if we just heard him and reasoned with him out of true love, maybe – but we do not know for sure as other than my mother and father who had the most patience with him, everybody else avoided him. He contention was that he loved us all and he was doing everything for love, our contention was that he was using us for his survival. We did not know the answer to this then and we still wonder what the right way of behaving around him was.

On his deathbed he mentioned to my mom and sister that he was sorry for everything. I was not there at that time but just hearing that story I could tell he was sorry. It was like his soul was apologizing for all that it had caused in our lives. The soul, hmmm…the interesting twist was that this was the first time we thought he had a soul. Maybe the soul was going through all the experiences it was going through for having come into this world and we were judging it as right and wrong. Who were we to be judging it all the time, thus causing more pain and suffering for the person and ourselves. Maybe our acceptance of the person or his/her soul just as is/was would have bought more understanding in one’s life and less rebellion. Our human branding of good and bad caused the person to rebel more. Our human justification that we were victimized due to his presence of how we were treated caused more rebellion from the person’s soul. Maybe or maybe not. we do not know the answer.

Then there is the subject of God and our faith in the middle of all this. If God was there, somewhere, then why did he place this person in our life – to cause us more trouble and in turn be troubled also! Or maybe he paced that person in our life to fulfill that person’s, soul’s experiences in this lifetime and also based on the interactions with that person’s soul we completed our own experiences. So, in the bigger picture it all fits, the jigsaw puzzle of life was perfect, we as human beings are placed or born into the perfect surroundings and perfect relations, friends and human interactions to complete all of our experiences that our soul came here for. We do not know that, but for a moment just consider that this was the case. Then this was a perfect world right! All the people who are in our life and all the people who come in touch with us in our everyday life was completing his or her own experiences and also helping you complete yours in their interacting with us.

If this was all perfect, then why is there so much suffering with people around us all the time. That is because we do not realize that we as our souls are here to complete our journey in our own way by interactions with other people in our lives. During the process we struggle with people in our lives not knowing that they were there for a perfect reason i.e. to help you complete your journey. Once we understand this we find compassion for all human beings because we realize that each one is here for his or her own journey and it is all perfect. Once we get this we get other peoples suffering as just something that is the way it is. How they interact with us and make our life miserable or happy is just our interpretation of life.

Knowing this today I see that I should have treated my brother with love and compassion as he was coming from a place of love and his actions were just reflections of what we were throwing at him. If we threw more love his way maybe his life could have been different. If we were not so quick to judge his actions as right or wrong maybe we could have cherished more of him and his soul’s purpose.

In spite of all this when I look at the bigger picture of life. I became a successful business man in life because I wanted to get away from him and his actions. I moved to the USA from India as I wanted to get away from him as he was a burden on the family and I wanted out of there. Ten years ago I forgave him for everything that he had done and for the way he treated me all this life. That got be a lot of peace as I finally forgave him or forgave myself for who I was being around him. So – I turned out this way because of him, right? That was a revelation that I did not get till he passed away. All my success and my understanding of life in a way was because of him. Now I got that he was in my life to fulfill his life’s journey, I do not know what that was, but it did fulfill mine for sure. If only I saw deeper into this soul I could have at least have cherished his love when he was alive.

I guess when we make our choices we make them one of two ways, one through choosing wisely and one made out of ego. The choice made from being wise is easy to change as it is logical that is used to change to undo your first choice. The choice made from ego is the hard one to change as the ego will not back down from the choice even though it knows it might be wrong. Then is when people have to take a step back and analyze the choice and choose to remake their choice or stick with their choice based on a higher conscience of self-awareness and compassion for everyone and everything – not from a place of ego centric behavior. This breaks the pattern of the ego and brings the person more in tune with everything around them.

This whole story about “compassion” was to share that I finally got that everyone is where they are because that is where they want to be. Have compassion for their choices. They are not your choices to make. You have made yours – do not expect them to follow your choices. If they do they are not fulfilling their life’s purpose – you have no idea what that is. So, have compassion for everyone where ever they are in their life. This will cause acceptance of people where they are and where they stand. This will only happen if we accept that each and every one born is trying to fulfil their purpose for what every they were born to do or to discover, whatever that may be – it is their path.

I see so many relationships break, people fighting with each other, people cheating each other for an extra buck, maybe all this will be less if we just understood that all we need is more compassion in our life for everyone and everything and to accept them where they are. They should be coming “from a being/place of love” for everyone or everything rather “than coming for love” in their relationships.

Today my world has changed for the better. People are the most important relationships I have. God comes second. If I treat all the people right and journey with them to fulfill any facet of their life’s journey and help them along their path I am happy. They could also be there to help me in my path, so to recognize that all people are there in my life for a reason is very important for me. Then I thank God for putting them in my path. Isn’t that what’s it’s all about!